I can see clearly now the pain is gone...........

Yep, you heard it here! I am off insulin completely. 16 days and I did it!!!!! My blood sugar isn't perfect in the morning, but hell, it's 100+ points down from where it used to be and that's with zero insulin instead of 60 units of long acting. So frankly, I'm not about to take insulin just to bring it down more. With time I do believe that I will be able to get my fasting blood sugar down to under 100. Right now I'm at about 150, but hell, it used to be 250 or more. So.............I'm good with that!
; )

So now what? I'm a little nervous as this is all so new and I'm still worried I'll "fall off the wagon". Plus, the cruise is looming. Ahhhh, the cruise! Any thoughts on that would be welcome. I'm thinking that I'll pick one day, or one night that I eat whatever I want to eat and enjoy that and then go back to veggies and fruit. I understand that they have wonderful fruit and a terrific salad bar. The real challenge is alcohol! What is a cruise without alcohol?!? To go eight days and not drink, well I'm strong, but I don't think I am that strong. I'm not a big drinker, but on a Friday or Sat. night, I want to partay. And they have a disco!!!! So you know where I'll be. My only hope is that I will have lost enough weight and done this for 2 1/2 months, that my blood sugar will be stable enough to handle it. They also have a work out room and do aerobics and such. So I'll be in there.
Advice? Comments? Please! I need thoughts on this.

I knew I could do the 21 day thing. I only have 5 days left. Cake walk. But soon I'll be faced with some hard decisions. I desperately want to have fruit and if all goes well at the end of the 21 days I'll be well enough to have low glycemic fruits. But I have always been the Lays potato chip girl in the past. So that makes me nervous. (You know, one thing leads to another and you just can't eat one!)

So ...............the numbers and the results.

With no insulin I am running a bit high, nothing like before, but I'm in the 160's after meals. That is really not an issue at all. And still around the 150's in the a.m. I have gone down in weight. I continue to work out 4-5 days a week. I feel fine as long as I eat all the dang time. Seriously, I must eat all the time or I get a headache, which sucks. (By the way, Connor is cooking bacon and pancakes right now, God help me!)

I have no more heel pain. I do not ache anymore. I can actually see better. Which is a really neat benefit. Many times I can read the small print without my glasses. That remains one of the cooler side effects. Glasses are the enemy!

My energy level is great. Sleeping going well. Over all, no complaints. And missing the stuff I "can't have" is not a big deal most of the time. At least it seems that I am doing better not pining for stuff that makes me diabetic.

So............no more injections. No more meds. No more pain.....what's not to love??

I remain a vegan..............a raw foodie................and now that I have my juicer, I am a juicer as well. Dehydrator is on the way..... guess what's for dinner?

Day 12 and almost 2/3 through the initial phase

Sounds like a college course or something, doesn't it?!? Well.........here's the deal. I am on day 12 and I'm still here and still doing it, and the best news is I haven't cheated even once. I've been to a party and out to dinner twice and didn't eat one wrong thing!

The party we went to was a real challenge. They served my favorite New Orleans brisket! Cooked all night in a special sauce and you have never tasted such wonderful meat. But I had tasted it before, so I knew what it was like, so I didn't touch it. Then some guy comes over with medium rare tri tip steak. That was hard to pass up. Not to mention everyone was drinking, etc. So I brought a bag of the ever exciting peppers and carrots and olives and such, sucked down tons of herbal teat, and didn't miss a beat. That made for a huge challenge, especially missing out on the wine. But I did it.

When we went out to dinner, Bill chose the restaurant and he picked Texas Roadhouse of all placed. If you really want to tempt a person on an all raw veggie adventure, go there!! I could have died! For your info, there is not one decent salad in the place. All stupid iceberg. Cheapest meal Bill and I ever had together. He loved it, I did not! (Is it me, or was that just a little bit cruel?? Sort of a test!! Well, screw you meat eater! I did it. I'm strong, so there! ; )

The better news is that I have a juicer on the way. I am also ordering a food processor and a dehydrator which will improve my life greatly!!! You would be amazed at what I can make with those handy items. The cost of this adventure is super high, but I guess I'm worth it. (I always thought I was, but you'll have to ask Bill. He pays the bills. Depends on the day, I bet!!!) I FINALLY got my Ebay dvd I ordered on how to make more interesting foods. THANK GOD!!!! The dvd sucks, but it did give me a lot of new ideas. This woman yacks and giggles and is a super space cadet, but thankfully there are recipes in there with all the b.s., so I finally got some decent ideas in between all her crap. She made some killer deserts all raw, no sugar, nothing but fruit and nuts. I cannot wait to be able to have fruit. I will never be so happy to eat a strawberry in my entire life!!!!!!

I bought a bunch of seeds for the garden. Glad I don't depend on myself to feed myself from the garden, but I am sure I can surely supplement that HUGE Farmer's Market bill I've got going every Thursday. Good thing I can grow dirt.

Now...........what you have all been waiting for. The numbers.

I'm down in weight, but I don't want to say how much since that could jinx my brain. Let's just say I fit well into my clothes.

I am using only......................only 13 units of insulin at night. That's IT! Down from 60. Plus..........................................................wait for it.........................

I had 123 blood sugar this morning!!! WHOO HOO!!! And, I'm managing a very NON diabetic 153 ish during the day. WITH NO INSULIN AT ALL~ Down from 60-80 units!

The report on physical well being is mixed. I have tons of energy. Of course, if you know me that has never been a problem. The weird thing is, I don't want to eat. Yep, you heard it here. I don't want to eat. I have to really think about eating and force myself to eat. It's not that I don't like the stuff I am eating, I just don't want to eat. Weird, huh? Plus, I find that I am more airheaded than usual. Stop laughing your ass off. Yes, I know. How could that possibly be? But it is. I am a total space cadet. Kinda scary, actually. Don't know why that is happening. Maybe living without coffee has messed up my brain.

So there it is. That's all the news that's fit to print as my friend, Marrion, would say. That's all there is and there ain't no more. (Dad's version.)

Guess what's for dinner?

Eight days, and the first week is complete

Well, I made it. One whole week. I also got my new book that I ordered on how to prepare raw food more interestingly, cause I can sure tell ya that salads are getting very old. I found an entire raw food isle at Whole Foods in Tucson and had fun purchasing stuff there. And you thought your groceries were spendy. Good GOD! I am going to have to learn to make as much of this stuff as I can 'cause the prepackaged raw is really, really expensive.

Basically, the raw food adventure hasn't been that bad. Not too hard at all.

But this last week has been challenging personally. Keegan fell off the roof of the playground equipment and broke off two teeth. Not broken off like you would think. Split like a peeling fingernail, or more like you would peel bark off a tree. All the way up into the gum line so the poor guy had to spend 5 hours in the dentist office over two days, and then we are still not done. The price tag is outrageous. Unbelievable, really. I think 1500 for an hour and a half for two root canals is pretty damn good money. Not to mention, the other dentist's costs. Sigh.

Another challenge was going on a hike Friday. I wasn't sure that I would be able to keep up with everyone else just living on veggies. But I did and everything went along fine as it just wasn't that hard of a hike.

Then this morning I suddenly felt entirely depressed. Just out of the blue. Plus, Bill was not helping things as he's been snippy and sarcastic today and I don't know why. (Big surprise there.) And that I have found is the biggest challenge of all. Not the day to day eating. As long as I am happy and things are going along well, I am doing fine. But the minute I become depressed, WOW!! I could open up a bag of chocolate with a glass of wine and chow down. That becomes my biggest challenge. Not eating the wrong things when depressed. I must figure out a good solution to feeling down and staying on the raw food adventure. So far, I have been amazingly perfect. Not one mishap. So if you have suggestions on how to deal with being unhappy and not reaching for the wine or the chocolate, I'm all ears.

OK, enough whining. Here are the numbers.

No short acting insulin.
Down to 1/3 of what I used to take with long acting insulin. Only took 16 units last night. I'm weaning myself off of it little by little. AND i have on average 150's in the morning. Still too high, but better than 250 WITH 60 units of insulin. Plus, I am down to the 150's after meals. A very satisfying first week Practically instant results.

I remain a vegan............................guess what's for dinner?

Day Five DONE and heading to a week

Today I felt great. A little too great, actually. This raw food diet seems to be making me a little more hyper than usual. Very strange. At first I was exhausted and felt awful, now on day five I feel great and am the energizer bunny. Like I need more!

I again forgot to eat. This remains the most unusual side effect. I meant to eat, and just got busy doing stuff and completely forgot. Who is this person?? It cannot be me. I have never forgotten to eat a day in my life!

On another note, I got brave and decided I could just use the over to dehydrate stuff so I could have some "crackers". It's taking forever. The "crackers" turn out to be flax seeds soaked with salt and spices added in and put in the oven. They have been in there on 145, the hottest allowed as not to kill the enzymes, for about 10 hours now. The edges have become crispy and I tasty it and it's actually delightful. THAT MEANS SALSA TIME!!!! I love salsa and guacamole and hummus and now I can have "cracker" to dip it in. Love it!

Now I know you are waiting with baited breath for the blood sugar report. I got down to 145 today!! And two hours after a meal have been consistently below 180..... I am taking no short acting insulin, and only 22 units long acting per day. I believe if things keep going this way, I'll be able to be off the long acting insulin in a week or so. That would be the best thing in the whole world for me.

I continue to work out five days a week for an hour and a half. Lifting weights and doing the treadmill and the ski machine. So I am doing everything there is to do that I know how. And best yet, I haven't even cheated once. Not one little bite. Not one drink of the wrong thing. I have eaten only raw veggies, raw nuts and seeds, herbal tea, stevia and water for five whole days!

My challenge for today was Bill bought chicken, the cooked fried chicken at the deli, and put it in the car with me. The car filled up with the aroma of cooked chicken. The smell.............wow. Panicking just a bit, I thought maybe I would not be able to stand it, but I drove home with a bunch of fried chicken in my car and lived to tell the tale. Whew!

So almost a week!!! Guess what's for dinner?

Day Four Looms

Feeling much better now. THANK GOD!!!! Dawn and I worked out this morning as we usually do, and I thought I was going to DIE! But I just kept on going and slowly but surely began to feel better. It was probably the toughest workout I've had in forever. Kinda embarrassing considering I've been doing it for months and months and months. Felt like I was just starting over. But we did it. Dawn's a huge inspiration. It didn't hurt anything that we went in to the Garden of Guts room, aka. the ab workout room, and got to do abs with Robert! Robert is training for a local body building competition, is a complete hotty, and likes to show off his most wonderful body. This gives me a lot of inspiration! : )

Today I had, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.........................salad! Although I did get a little creative and made my own salad dressings. So that was cool. Never knew a cucumber and olive oil with some spices could be whipped up into a creamy and delicious dressing AND be totally good for me! That was cool. So what was in that oh so wonderful salad, you ask?? Yellow peppers, kale, cabbage, lettuce, cauliflower, broccoli, cucumber, lemon, and an avocado. Which I love. So are you jealous yet?? Bet you aren't.

Now for the not so great news. I took half the insulin I usually take and as the day went by I had up and down and up and down all day long. One time it was 280, really bad, then later it was 180. Not bad for after eating. So it's been a mixed bag. At least the headache is gone and I feel semi normal. Although I still think I must be somewhat light headed as I feel disorganized. But Connor's room got a good cleaning! It's amazing what you can get accomplished when you aren't eating!

Day Four Looms...............what's for breakfast???

Day One...............I feel like

SHEEYAT! This blog is not family friendly, just a warning to you. Thank God for Dawn, as we went out to the mall and toodled around town for the day and it pretty much kept me busy or I would have been in bed the whole day. I guess the transition is a HUGE shock to the ole system and I have the worst headache known to man. Not to mention I am about half high out of my head. Can't think too straight. The good news is, I made it through day one. And the amazing part is this....

day one waking blood sugar 256 (traditional with me, very high, doctor would shit! Took 50 units of long acting insulin last night.)

two hours after breakfast on day one150 (a miracle and perfectly normal for a non diabetic, of course you could hardly call what I ate breakfast! Can't wait to be able to have some rice or beans or soup or something that you could vaguely call breakfast. Fruit maybe!!?!)

Later in the day I took it again and it was 140, the lowest it's been WITH INSULIN, not to mention I DID NOT TAKE ANY SHORT ACTING INSULIN AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! NONE ZERO ZIPPO! Not one unit all day long!

Unbelievable. Now the neat thing is I was out all day and did the right thing, THEN went to dinner with Bill and friends and had only a salad. I concentrated on enjoying their company, in between the throbbing of my head. Going without caffeine for two days might be contributing to this headache, but I weaned myself off coffee by Thursday, so not sure about that. And when I got home, my son's girlfriend had sent me a bouquet of flowers, without my son's knowledge!!! What a sweetheart. I was bragging to Bill about my son and his girlfriend, called to thank them, and Kyle knew nothing about it! Poor guy. He went from hero to ordinary in two seconds!

So I wake up on Sunday morning, take my blood sugar and it's 186. 50 points less than my usual AND I took half my long lasting insulin last night. I was afraid to take the regular amount since things were going so well.

Here's the part that makes me sad. I am definitely mourning right now. Not for the food I will miss, but for the life I could have had years ago if I'd just known, or looked harder at the situation. I mourn for the people who are dying from diabetes, who are stuck with stupid doctors and the drug companies that are killing them little by little. And all they have to do is eat vegetables???? A crime against the American people is being committed. The sadness overwhelms me.

I begin day two with hopes that I can get rid of this horrible headache, and hopefully in a day or so start to feel a bit better. I am sure the toxins and the adjustment is an enormous change for my body. It's funny, my mind is doing well with the transition as far as not obsessing over food, but my body is revolting!

Until next time...........................I remain raw.

Revelations of the food mind

I love this quote....For it is dangerous to attach oneself to the crown in front, and so long as each one of us is more willing to trust another than to judge for himself, we never show any judgment in the manner of living, but always a blind trust, and a mistake that has passed on from hand to hand finally involves us and works our destruction. It is the example of other people that is our undoing; let us merely separate ourselves from the crowd, and we shall be made whole. Lucius Seneca

And that is the way that I will have to go to manage this new life. I contemplate all the things that are going to be so different. I ask myself, what will I eat when I go to dinner with friends? Will I manage to avoid alcohol, bread, desert?! What the hell will I order? Will it be depressing to not be able to go but to a few restaurants? How will I feel making dinner for the family with lots of meat and dairy, knowing that I shouldn't eat that stuff ever again?

There is no moderation here if I want to cure this awful scourge. There is no, it's ok, only a little won't hurt you. Because it already has!! I assume after a good long time I could have some wine or such. I could manage to eat a bit of dairy here and there, but I fear that will just take me down the slippery slope to the same place I am now. The consequences of not succeeding stay in the back of my mind.

For me, it's black or white. There is not moderation, there is no just a little won't hurt me, it's do it or die. Period. My biggest fear is that the only person I have to rely on is myself!!!! Yikes!

Only a few more days left to the new me and hopefully this blog will be more positive. The fear of the unknown is always worse than the reality! Until next time........................L

Sunday and the hour is near

Well, as I sit and drink my coffee WITH LOTS OF CREAM, I think to myself, "Man, I am going to miss coffee, and surely the cream!" Then I think what the coffee does to my bladder everyday and I surely won't miss going to the bathroom all morning. So one can just take a negative and turn it around! And I think I will have to do that a lot come this weekend. Plus, after reading my book and finding out what is allowed in my cream, I have to not think about it to drink it. If you want to know what the FDA allows in milk and dairy products, look it up on google. I won't post it here just in case my friend Dawn reads this, as she loves milk and I don't want to spoil it for her. But you'll find it most disgusting. Another interesting fact about milk is that milk is the number one allergen causing food there is. Since we lose our ability to break down lactose at two years old, our bodies produce antibodies to dairy when we consume it, therefore our body is always under attack when ingesting milk/dairy, therefore causing inflammation and allergies. Interesting! If you think about it, it makes no sense for a grown anything to drink any milk at all. Even horses know to wean their babies at about one. So think about that one..................

I'm off to the day, my mind busily pondering what my life will feel like a few weeks from now.

Next Saturday

Next Saturday I am going to embark on an adventure that I never thought I could manage, nor would even attempt. I am going to go on a raw food adventure. I say adventure, because I have no intention of stopping it. The word diet always implies something that you have to do "for a time", and therefore isn't necessarily a permanent change. You hear people say, "When I get off this diet, I'm going to............." whatever it is, but it isn't staying on the diet. I need an adventure! I love exploring new things, and that is what I'm considering this new life! An exploration!

I am nervous. I am scared shitless! But I am going to do this because I am determined and I want to live. I want to live so badly, that I am willing to change my entire life built around gourmet cooking and eating so that I might be able to have a full and healthy life and not become beaten and debilitated by my enemy, diabetes!! Join me and read about my successes and failures, thoughts and feelings, and certainly what will ultimately be quite the adventure.